so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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