wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize