I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize