I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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