I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I could make wine with my vomit
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Randomize