i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I AM VODKA MAN
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize