i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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