So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
