As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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