do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
