if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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