put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize