I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
