The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
