we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
