If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
