come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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