she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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