Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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