would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
