there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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