I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She's the barista slut.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
