Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize