Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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