You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
