ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize