yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
