do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
