there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
