Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
