Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
