trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
