Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
