I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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