if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
