He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize