I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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