all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
