What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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