guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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