There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
