I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
the day after is always just damage control
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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