Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
