I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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