Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
