if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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