Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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