first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
did i just pee glitter
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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