is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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