Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
We need to feng shui this bitch.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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