I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
