this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
