We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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