Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
