i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
