If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
