If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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