"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize