Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
