Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
