I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
