thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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