what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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