i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
