I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
